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William the Conqueror Explodes At His Funeral, 1087

This really happened: Over the years, William became enormously fat and could not lose weight. When he died, he became even larger due to the noxious gases of decomposition. They tried to squeeze him into his sarcophagus—too hard, it seems. He literally exploded, splashing the mourners with the contents of his insides. Wisely, the presiding padre decided to cut the service short.
 

 

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